Below are several of my favourite quotes: that they’re here doesn’t mean I necessarily endorse them nor approve of the person saying them; only that they depict life as it is or as it should be - or they just amuse me.
I’ve done stuff I ain’t proud of; and the stuff I am proud of is disgusting.
- Moe Syszlak
No civilisation has ever considered chief hydrological engineer a dream job … *sighs* yes, the Cappadocians.
- Bob Terwilliger.
There are three features of human character that are tested in only three ways: friendship in trouble; courage in battle; and wisdom in rage.
- don’t recall
Philip, remember you must die.
- The first words King Philip of Macedon’s servant said to him when the king woke up. (fyi, Philip was the father of Alexander the Great.)
Live every day like it will be your last: one day you’ll be correct.
- anonymous
If you’re beautiful, people will forgive you almost anything.
- me paraphrasing someone else.
I find them repugnant … but strangely compelling.
- Ren Hoek (about the stench of his socks)
May your forehead grow like the mighty oak.
- Exeter. (Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie)
Too much of a good thing is wonderful.
- Mae West.
Marriage is the price men pay for sex. Sex is the price women pay for marriage.
- anonymous.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand …
- anonymous.
Nothing says ‘I love you’ better than a military antique.
- Herman (The Simpsons)
I’ve had a wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
- Groucho Marx
The problem with being a living sacrifice is that you keep trying to crawl off the altar.
- Helen Cripps
Eviscerate the proletariat!
- Stewie Griffin (The Family Guy)
I’d rather be single and wishing I were married, than being married and wishing I were single.
- anon.
Do not ascribe to malice that which can be attributed to incompetence.
- Napoleon Bonaparte
One death is a tragedy; one million deaths is a statistic.
- Joseph Stalin
Keep your words soft and sweet, for some day you may have to eat them.
- can’t remember
In this world of froth and bubble
two things stand like stone:
kindness in another’s trouble;
courage in your own.
- epitaph of Frank Gordon Lindsay
Live like there’s no tomorrow: one day you’ll be correct.
- don’t know
I calculated the odds of this working against the odds that I was doing something incredibly stupid … and I went ahead and did it anyway.
- Crow T. Robot (Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie)
